Why shady people DON'T piss me off....

It's been over a year since I updated this thing?  Really, Mandie?  Really?   Well, I am back now...

Over the last few days, I've had the unpleasurable experience of dealing with massive shade.   My friend, who is sitting underneath the shade with me, has dubbed it #shadybitchgate2013 and that really could not be more accurate if I tried.  So, we will keep with the title.

Here's the thing...I'm a bitch.

I own up to the fact that if I don't like something, I am going to let you know.    If you say something stupid, I am going to tell you.  If you want to be a bitch to me, I'm going to speak the truth that you don't want to hear and shut you down.  Period.  Unfortunately, I get it from my father.  So the fact that someone outright shades me, but doesn't speak her problems to my face?  I have a problem with that.

Truly shady people think that they are being clever, but we can see right through you.  Instead of pissing other people off, all you do is really make yourself look stupid and make the situation worse for yourself.   

My friend is pissed.  Oh boy, is she pissed.  In all honesty, I never thought this particular person could get her that pissed off.  Me?  I'm calm as a cucumber and laughing at her lackluster attempt.  She's pushing me.  It has nothing to do with my friend; it has everything to do with me.  She wants to make me angry and won't get the benefit of the doubt because, honestly?  I'm entertained with the situation.  

Because while I am here, having fun and doing what I want without shame...she's hiding behind a invisible mask.  

If there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, if you are not hiding, then why are you lying about it?

A couple of random updates...

As for the P365 and the 100 movies challenge?  Thus far, I've failed pretty epicly.  This shouldn't be a shock to anyone who knows me very well.  I have a serious case of undiagnosed ADHD or something.  Things don't manage to get done if they take very long.   I am working on two stories right now that have, thus far, managed to not be affected by it... and I just hope that it lasts.

Also, my post, "to my writer friends; the gray area" will likely be revisited soon.  I read it over again and it's a little confusing.  I think my passion got in the way of me actually, clearly, making my point.  So, I'll write with more care and clarity next time.

Some people just piss me off.

Some people just piss me off.  

If you know me well at all, this is coming as no shock to you.  It happens quite often, someone pissing me off, and at the smallest things too.   But, it seems like, it's happening more and more frequently these days and I need to get it out. 

I know about a lot of things, but I have never really considered myself one of those types to "know everything."  You know those people that I am talking about.  They tell you exactly how to do everything, why how you are doing is wrong, and and why you should do it exactly the way that they are telling you.  And, when they are challenged, they get pissed off, defensive and otherwise even more irritating because you have to listen to them after, well, listening to them for a friggin' hour already.   It's stupid, ridiculous and one of the main reasons why you will never see me being a teacher, because I do not have what it takes not the slap the shit out of some smart-mouthed little bitch who does not know when to shut her pie hole.  Yes... While typing all of this, I have a specific person in mind and, don't worry, I am getting to her.   Either way, as a general percentage of humanity, these people really test my nerves and when I have to deal with one of them on a daily basis, it's hardly a pretty situation.

So, there is this girl in my digital photography class... There are so many reasons why I don't feel bad for her when that is exactly what she wants me to do.  One of the main reasons being that she is a smart-mouthed know it all, that talks more shit than she has the ability to back up.  FYI to all of you in the world, just because you consider yourself an expert and/or professional at something, and just because you get paid to do it, doesn't mean that you are good at it.   And, for all I know, the fact that you get paid to do it could just be more shit that you are spewing.

Now, let me get this out first - I am not saying that the girl doesn't take good pictures.   From what I have seen, some are good, others are bad and some are excellent.  She pretty much falls into the same category as me or anyone else in the class.  Which pretty much proves my point even more; she knows just as much as anyone else in the class and needs to otherwise shut her mouth and listen.   She has an opinion about everything and has to challenge everything that is said.   Note, I am not the only one who feels that way.  In fact, someone came to me (without my having said a word about it) and started to spill their feelings, which happened to be about the same as mine.   It's ridiculous and annoying.  And, I don't care if you already know everything that is being taught to you, shut your mouth and stop making the class that much more miserable for everyone else in it.

My pictures haven't been the best.  Hell, in comparison to some of the pictures that I have taken in the past?  These are downright awful.  Most of what I have taken, I've hated.   A lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't have much motivation/inspiration/cool scenes to work with.  A little more has to do with, I am playing around with settings on my camera that I didn't even know existed prior to coming into this class and it's not entirely working in my favor.   Finally, a little more, I think has to do with the pressure of actually taking good photos because I know that other people are going to be looking at them.  That, in my experience, never works in my favor.  

So, honestly, I don't know how my grade is going to turn out in this class.  Hopefully, not badly.   But, I can tell you one thing, having to sit in class for two hours a day with a whiney, know it all that has a big mouth doesn't help.  It makes me not want to show up to class when I really need to be there.   It also makes me talk a lot in order to shut her up, which I am not overly fond of doing either.  

This wasn't even what originally inspired this post, but as you can imagine, this is what the focus ended up being on because this girl honestly ticks me off.  Other than that, parents... (but, strangely, not my parents this time around) tick me off too. 

P:365 | Day One

100 movies challenge!

Given that I am the worst about not watching anything new, I am challanging myself to watch 100 new movies this year.  We'll see how it turns out, but this week...I've not gotten a bad start.  I am going to make a list for both my new movies and the movies I have already seen, but watched anyway.  (Because I'm weird like that.)

New Movies

1. In Time
2. Keith
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
4. The Death and Life of Bobby Z
5. Kill Speed
6. Rags
7. Universal Squadrons

Movies I've Seen

1. Varsity Blues
2. Impulse
3. Executive Decision

Movies I Want To See/Watch Again

1. Long Gone Day
2.  Bend It Like Beckham 
3. Magic Mike

Sleep is for suckers!

I don't really know what is going on lately, but my sleep schedule is royally fucked to the epitome of royally fucked.  For most who know me any at all, this does not come as much of a surprise given that I am known for being asleep at odd hours of the day and awake at even odder ones.   But, I say that it is fucked for the reason of...sleep has become quite difficult to come by.   It does not matter what time I wake up or what time I go to sleep, I still manage to look at the clock at 3am no matter what I do.  I hate it.  Funny that I hate it, but I do.  Especially when I need to wake up at 9:45 every morning to get ready to go class.  Six hours of sleep is just enough to make me really pissed off when I have to wake up via an alarm.  This, of course, comes after a string of barely being able to make it until 10pm nights that sucked almost as much, but not quite enough to match this.  

So what is the point of this post?  Well, there really isn't one except for me to vent out my frustrations for lack of ability to sleep when there isn't anyone around for me to vent too via IM.  And to say that, thanks to this, and to the fact that all of my writing partners are currently MIA for one reason or another...  I've not only watched more movies in the last few days than I have in a LONG time, but I've managed to come up with more half-baked schemes and writing ideas.  More than I need... but here you get to read about them.

Have you ever heard of that thing where a person vows to read so many books or watch so many movies a year?  And that thing where a person vows to take a picture a day for a year?   If haven't, well, now you have.  Because I am vowing to do them (ha! we'll see how this turns out) and I'll post about them here.  I am vowing to post a picture a day until June 9th, 2013 and I am vowing to watch 100 movies.  (Same here, we'll see how this turns out.)   

Books?  Eh, I am not going to go there.  Despite absolutely killing the Fifty Shades trilogy in about four days last month (started at 1:30 on a Thursday and finished at 2am on a Sunday,) I am really not much of a reader.  Mainly for the fact that I am always more concerned about writing than reading, but damn it... Christian Grey is just so psychotically irresistible that I couldn't help myself.  I jumped on my first bandwagon with that one!

I'll make new posts for each... 

to my writer friends; the gray area.

This is your only warning for the language in this post.

What is the definition of “the gray area?”  

Loosely, it’s the area in roleplay where in-character emotions and out-of-character emotions are bound to mix together.  Where that clearly black paint drips over into that clearly white paint, making the baby shade.  It happens.

Despite the wishes of those of us who have relatively sane thought processes and intuitions where writing is concerned, there is a point for all of us when we cannot clearly define what color is driving our inspirations.  Sometimes, we can and we blatantly ignore it.  We do willingly cross the line and mix the gray ourselves even though we know it’s wrong – we just don’t care.   And then there are the others…the batshit crazy ones who attempt to manipulate the gray with every move that they make.

To those of you who fit that criteria ( and if you think you don’t, then you probably do ) let me give you a few tips:

1)     All the drama that you bitch about having in your lives?  You cause the majority of it yourselves.   You turn every small thing, whether it be in-character or out-of-character, into a massive showdown of wits.  You piss and moan, bitch, complain and throw a hissy-fit about everything.  Everything is a hit against you.  Everything is always bad.  Life sucks.  …get over yourself.    The world is not about you.  It does not revolve around you.  Every time you whine about how fucked up your life is, you are mixing the gray.  Every time you take something that happens, throw a hissy-fit about it in public, and make public posts about it?  You are stirring the BIG black pot of gray that you mixed.  Roleplay is about getting away from reality.  It’s a game that you use for entertainment.  If you can’t handle it; if you can’t handle the people; if you can’t deal with the fact that your character is not a God/Goddess walking on fucking water…delete your fucking journals and get the hell gone.  Nobody will miss you.

2)     If you took two seconds and put some thought into your characters, their backgrounds, their actions and why they are the way you are…you’d be much happier as a writer.  There would not be the need to constantly change every fucking thing that every one of your characters does because you are suddenly unhappy with it.  Okay?  People don’t change on a fucking whim.  It takes time, patience and HARD WORK.  Something that you are likely not capable of doing to save your own fucking life.  *whisper voice* Realism is KEY! *end whisper voice* It’s there for the sake of fucking sanity!

Okay, now that I got that out of the way… Let’s go on to the list.   The Non-Gray Area.

1)     Not everything that other characters do (in-character) is a hit against you (out-of-character) or your character (in-character.)  Vice versa, not everything that a player does (out-of-character OR in-character) is a hit against you (out-of-character.)  Now, to get pissed off that either one of these is happening and reacting in a hostile manner or having your character react in a hostile manner is NOT a gray area.  It’s a fucking yin and yang where you have blatantly crossed the in-character/out-of-character line.   Don’t fucking do it.  Period.  End of statement.

2)     To hold grudges and blatantly attempt to make a character or a writer’s life miserable because of said grudges is NOT A GRAY AREA.  Yin and yang, people.

3)     To do ANYTHING that is aimed at making another character or writer do what YOU want them to do, versus what THEY want to do it is not only a non-gray area, it’s un-fucking-acceptable.  It DOES NOT matter whether you do it, in-character, out-of-character or both… it’s unacceptable, demeaning, and you should have your fucking fingers cut off for being a manipulative little bastard.  Don’t like it?  TOUGH SHIT.  Like I said, the world of writing does not revolve around you or your pathetic attempt at characters (because, generally, that’s what these characters, for writer’s who don’t have a decent bone in their body, are.  Pathetic.)

4)     IF YOU THINK IT BELONGS IN THE GRAY AREA AND IT PISSES YOU OFF…HERE’S ANOTHER TIP - IT DOESN’T FUCKING BELONG IN THE GRAY AREA.  PERIOD.

Keep the white in the white, the black in the black and stay far away from the fucking gray.   If you can’t figure out what belongs in the white and what belongs in the black, delete your fucking journals and move on because you don’t have an ounce of common sense in your fucking brain.   

Thank you and Goodnight.